Chapter 28
I ran
towards Emmett and Rosalie as soon as they peeked through the arrivals. Their flight was delayed and they only landed
at 10 a.m. My dad wasn’t coming for the weekend, he rescheduled his flight
delaying it for a couple of days. We
expected him to arrive on Monday afternoon. Even though he made some excuses
about work, I think he wasn’t too upset about it as I’d gathered through Jacob
that things were moving fast and were getting serious with Sue. I also couldn’t
overlook the fact that my dad was terrified about the mere hypothesis of
crossing paths with my mother. He was terribly disappointed about the entire
ordeal but, knowing her like he did, he assumed she could just turn up
unannounced. She didn’t.
“Emmett!” I
said with a surge of emotion I didn’t know I still had in me as he embraced me
tightly, like he used to. It took us a while to disentangle from each other;
Rosalie and Edward were already out of pleasantries when I shifted my attention
to them.
“How was
your flight here?” I asked eventually when I got my voice back, after greeting
Rosalie with a somewhat timid hug in comparison to the one I gave my brother.
“A little
tiresome even flying first class. It still
took us nearly a full day to get here… Looking at you made it almost worth
it…”
“Almost,”
Rosalie agreed.
He then
turned his attention to Edward for the first time, and seemed a little taken
aback with his presence.
“Em, you
remember Edward…” I stuttered as watched him transform to the overbearingly
protective brother I knew he could be.
“Well, yes.
I’m just surprised to see him here,” he told me accusingly.
Edward
looked at me expectantly, gauging my reaction, before he spoke calculatedly.
“Well, I
considered that it would be polite to come with my girlfriend to the airport to
meet her family. I wouldn’t want them to think that I´m uncaring .”
And there
was it, a new accusation.
“We
wouldn’t…” Rosalie answered quickly. “But it was really nice of you. So what
plans do we have for us while we’re here?” and she entrapped Edward in
conversation after that as the lead the way to the car.
“Boyfriend?!
Are you serious about him?” Emmett asked when his surprise wore off.
Edward must
have listened to the question, because he turned around his head, focusing his
attention on me again.
“Maybe it’s
not the time to talk about this.” My brother said sensing my discomfort.
“Why don’t
you both go with John and I’ll drive with Rosalie?” Edward suggested.
We took his
offer gladly as I needed some time alone with my brother.
“Thank you,
Edward.” I whispered only for him to hear as I tilted my head for a quick kiss.
He smiled with mischief, kissed me back for a lot longer than needed, and
walked away.
**
“I’m so
glad you came,” I said after ten minutes of silence.
“Me too,”
he answered roughly. “Rose called mom. She didn’t pick up the phone or returned
her call.”
“She’s
alright, Em.”
“Did you
really give her money to stay away from you? From us?” He added begrudgingly.
“Let’s not
fight like we did over the phone, will you please let me explain?” I urged and
he finally listened to me - I told him everything from the beginning, from the
house and the car I bought her, the initial allowance, her surprise trip to
England and the interview that came as the breaking point to me. He already
knew most of it, but he let me tell everything again, without interruptions.
His silence was worrisome, but after a while he regained his voice.
“I’m sorry
I latched at you the way I did. It just felt so wrong!” he exhaled raggedly.
“I’m really sorry… In a way, to be perfectly honest with you, after the shock
wore off, I was actually
relieved that you managed to get her out of our lives. I just couldn’t cope
with the guilt that came from that. You were always this kind of invisible glue
in our family that always managed somehow to get us back together. When all of
this happened, a part of me feared you might give up on all of us.”
“Em, I
would never…”
“I know,”
he said interrupting me abruptly. “Rosalie made me see that.” He paused for a
while before continuing. “I did well for myself, haven’t I? She’s nothing like
our mother.” He whispered almost with reverence for his wife.
“No, she’s
not. Why would she?” I agreed.
“I was
lucky to find a woman with a heart that matches her beauty and she’s so strong!
I really strayed from the female example mom set at home,” he added deep in
thought. “You on the other hand had a terrific male role model. I think you
should find someone more like dad - someone you could rely upon, someone
trustworthy and…”
“Are we
talking about boys now?” I cut him out trying to sound as nonchalant as
possible.
“This
Edward, he’s a little… conceited, isn’t he?”
“I thought
you liked him…” I said defensively, still to sound casual.
“Talking
about sports and videogames once or twice isn’t the same as liking. I feel
indebted to him because he saved your
life. That isn’t something I could ever forget, but I have to be sure that you
don’t feel like you owe him something, because you don’t.”
“He’s not
with me to collect some sort of debt.” Surprisingly it sounded very true, even
though I still failed to see what was the reasoning for all the madness in our
relationship.
“Well, this
is new. So you two are in a serious monogamous relationship?” He asked
incredulous.
“Well, it’s
complicated.” I diverted a little hurt, still feeling insecure about anything
that concerned Edward.
“Not from
my point of view. Is he still seeing other girls?” I looked at him horrified.
“What? You think I don’t read the news?”
“It’s not
that, I just don’t know how I feel about him. He’s everything I thought I hated
in a man and yet I feel this pull towards him. I’m old enough to know better,
that I shouldn’t be attracted to the bad boy. That being said, I’m not deluding
myself into thinking that I’ll miraculously change him and his ways.”
“You have
feelings for him.”
“Against my
better judgment, I do.”
“Maybe he’s
not so bad.” My brother threw in unhelpfully. He frowned, worried, but said no
more.
That car
drive was enough to reconnect with my brother and it was like there was one
cloud less in the stormy sky. I awkwardly changed the subject into lighter
themes, and after a few minutes the conversation started flowing without
effort, like it used to. He talked about his job and his prospects for a
promotion and eventually let slip that he and Rosalie were extending their
family in a close future. She was on the mark of twelve weeks and he was so
proud and happy that he just couldn’t hold it back anymore. Their life in
Australia was really everything he could have ever wished for which between the
lines could be understood as “even though I love you, don’t even think about
telling me to move back to be close to you, because I’m extremely happy where I
am right now!”
***
“This house
is exquisite and the view is just breathtaking!” Rosalie gushed as she looked
across the window towards the lake. It was unusually sunny and the window faced
west, where the sun was setting. The light gave her that ethereal beauty you
always expect to see in a pregnant woman but so seldom do.
“Emmett
told me about the good news,” I told her after securing he was out of hearing
range. She blushed a little but smiled that beautiful and pure smile I’ve
rarely seen coming from her.
“I’m ready,
you know? To move on with our lives. The prospect of being parents really put
everything in the right perspective for us.”
“You’re
glowing!”
“You’re
saying that because you didn’t see me throw up every time they tried to serve
something resembling food in our flight,” she teased.
“I’ve
apologized to Emmett but I have to try to make amends with you too. I’m sorry
about going completely berserk with my mom, even more so now. I don’t want to
deprive this baby from knowing his or hers grandmother.”
“On the
long run, you’ve probably done Emmett and your dad a favor, regardless of what
you had to do. I know this might seem harsh, but to be honest I’m not sure I
want your mother around as an example for my kids.”
“She’ll
probably have a fit when she realizes she’s about to be a grandmother,” I
chuckled because I knew my mother too well. “Maybe one day she’ll come to her
senses though-”
“But could
you ever trust her again?” Rosalie asked earnestly.
“No.” I
answered without hesitation. “I don’t think I can.”
“Don’t push
yourself too hard over that matter, it’s done now and that’s all there is to it.”
There was a pause and she looked outside again. “I don’t mean to pry but can I
ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“You and
Edward, it’s getting serious isn’t it?”
“Have you
been talking to Emmett?!”
“Well, I
have. But that’s not why I’m asking you this. I’ve talked to your boyfriend
today.”
“You have
talked to him before, quite regularly considering you manage the advertising
campaign of the a.m. in Australia.”
“I’ve never
talked to him about personal affairs. Regardless of my prior opinion about him,
I can see now he really likes you. I wasn’t expecting that. We had a very
enlightening talk on our way here.”
“He poured
his heart out to you?” I teased.
“I wouldn’t
go as far, but I think I’m warming to the fact that he might be my future
brother-in-law.”
That remark
caught me completely off guard. She smiled apologetically realizing my
discomfort and moved on to different subjects as I showed her again where her
bedroom was.
“Everything
is so opulent here that I feel like I shouldn’t even consider touching let alone
using any of this.”
“Don’t fret
about that. I hope you really enjoy your stay. You think this is opulent
because you haven’t seen Edward’s palace in London. I believe Henry did a great
deal to modernize this place. One of the things Greta did when I inherited this
estate was to make a complete inventory of its contents. Most of the things
that were considered priceless and irreplaceable were securely stored.”’
“Most of
the things?! What about the rest?”
“Maybe they
are meant to be used and enjoyed while they last.”
Her eyes
glistened at the double connotation but said no more.
*
“Will you
be staying for dinner?” I asked Edward, who was sitting facing the fireplace in
the library. He seemed deep in thought and turned abruptly, clearly surprised
to see me.
“Do I need
a formal invitation to stay?”
“No, you
don’t. I didn’t mean to make it sound like that. It’s just that I didn’t know
if you had any plans with your family.”
He was
sulking and didn’t reply.
“This is
new to me, you know?” he said after a while.
“I’m sorry.
There’s a part of me that believes you’ll never break. Maybe that’s part of the
charm.”
“Or maybe
that’s the problem.” His green eyes focused on mine searching for a second
before he stood up. “I think I’m going to leave you with your family and not
impose myself any longer.”
He briefly
kissed me in the cheek and walked away.
“Edward,
please. Stay.” He stopped, but didn’t turn around immediately. “I want you to
stay and meet my family. My brother will warm up to you, whatever you said to
Rose on your way here was very effective, I believe you have in her an ally for
life.”
“I just told her the truth, that for
some twisted reason of fate I really love you, even though you’re making me
miserable. Maybe I deserve everything you’re throwing at me, but I still have
to ask what the hell are you doing to me? To us?! To yourself?! We’ve talked
about this before, and you didn’t listen to reason, but maybe now, with your
family here you can feel that it’s right, that you belong here. This is your
home now, move to England. Your life is here now, with me.”
“It’s just too soon!”
“But one day it might be too late!”
“Is this an ultimatum?”
“No, it’s the truth. You’re the one
who says we should take some time to get to know each other… in the present
state of things, tell me how am I supposed to do that if you put an entire
ocean between us? Bloody hell, Isabella! Something’s got to give.”
“I didn’t
know you felt like that…” I told him exasperated, but it was a lie. He’d been
pressing on that matter for a while.
“How could
you not? I’ve been nothing but transparent to you over the last weeks.”
“That’s the
point, we’ve been together for a few weeks! We’ve only met in December and we
were apart for nearly three months.”
“That was a
misunderstanding, we’ve talked about that. But we can jump all arguments and go
straight to the crux of the matter - you haven’t forgiven me. Maybe we should
consider that maybe you can’t…”
“I forgave
you but I haven’t forgotten. Only time can help me and that’s what I’m asking!”
“Time to do
what?”
“To think!”
“I don’t
want you to think! If we take into consideration all the crazy and unbelievable
things that happened we don’t stand a chance. Do you think it’s easy for me?
Any of this? But you know what? Once I decided that I could put that behind me,
which before you start arguing I have, I’ve never let you down, I’ve never
questioned you again, nor the reason you were chosen to be Henry More’s heir,
like everyone else is still doing. Can you do the same for me and give me the
benefit of doubt? You push and pull, and you’re lonely and then you need space
- all in the same bloody day! How am I supposed to keep up? So, no, I don’t
want you to think. And maybe, just maybe, if after everything we’ve been
through we still have feelings that overcome
the rest then that’s got to worth
something. And to hell with everything else!”
I was
speechless. I’ve never imagined he could be so… well eloquent.
“So please,
make a decision. What am I to you?” He asked darkly.
“What
happened to being casual?” I evaded the
question.
“You don’t
want casual, you’re just afraid! So I’ll just ask you once more – what am I to
you?”
Honestly I
was taken by surprise. We were ok in the morning, sort of, at least that’s what
I thought. I was avoiding any direct confrontation for the past couple of
weeks. I felt like screaming, because everyone was pressing and pushing and
making demands, but I also knew that I should stop feeling sorry for myself. So
what did I want from him?
“Honestly?”
I said after pondering for a while.
“Please.”
And his eyes were pleading and vulnerable in a way I never imagined possible.
“I just
know I need you in my life, and maybe it’s selfish but I want you to love me.
Unconditionally.” There, I said it!
“I do. God,
I do! Believe me, I do!” He reiterated sensing my disbelief. “Why do you think
you need me? Why do you feel like you need my love?” He smiled gloriously
before he concluded. “You, Isabella Swan, are in love with me.” And instantly
he went back to his usual self, so confident it was unnerving. Well, I didn’t
know how to argue back, because a part of me thought it might be true and just
that glimpse of frailty was enough to help take my defenses down.
“Are you
trying to manipulate me, Your Grace?”
“It’s not
manipulation if the subject is aware of the game,” he replied very pleased with
himself. “Deep down I know you believe me. Now, who’s hiding behind
technicalities ? And by the way, I’m sleeping over, I already called Alice for
a change of clothes.”
“Might as
well invite her to dinner.”
“Well, I
wouldn’t like to become too overbearing…”
“Really,
Edward?”
“You love
me.”
And he
kissed me deeply fisting my hair tight to hold me in place, stating a claim.
Later that
day, Alice came over to dinner and so did my uncle. He was delighted to meet
Emmett and promised Rosalie that they could count on him to christen the baby.
A lot was speculated about the baby’s gender and so on, all the hopes and
expectations of the merry couple for the near future. My mother’s absence was
noted like a cold breeze that finds you between door’s cracks but we still felt
content. Edward was charming, lively and playful and everything was fine until
he said “American football is Rugby for sissies!” And that was it, the boys got
so lost in their argument, that nothing managed to divert their attentions –
not talks about pretty, unborn babies or even desert. Against all odds, my
uncle shared Edward’s opinion and they ended up scheduling a game on Tuesday
morning.
“I’ll call
my mates,” Edward said rejoicing the opportunity to release some steam.
“Pretty
boy, you don’t stand a chance! Bring it on. Might as well bring a pad to take
some notes!”
“Really!?
You actually want me to register the time and date you’ve cried like a girl?
You want to show it to your kid and teach him that it’s ok to be sensible and
that men are allowed to cry?”
“Really,
Edward?” I said finally calling his attention to me.
“What?” He
asked perplexed.
“It might
be a girl…” Said Rosalie.
“What?”
Asked my brother, incredulous that she dared making such a suggestion.
**
I lingered
in the library after my uncle left and everyone went to sleep, trying to focus
on a presentation I had to make in a couple of weeks.
“Are you
coming or what?” Edward asked embracing me, wearing nothing but his black
pajama pants.
“Were you
walking around the house like that?”
“I was
hoping to tempt you to come to bed.” He said pulling me to his lap.
“Have you
been working out?” I asked while I rested my head in the crook of his neck. He
have always been lean, but I thought his muscles were more defined.
“Not
enough…” he answered while drawing random soft, butterfly patterns with his
fingers over my back. His touch was so soothing and I was so tired…
Next
morning, I woke up in my bed. Edward, who was beginning to stir by my side,
must have carried me back to our room.
“Good
morning,” he said lazily.
“Hey, you.
I don’t remember you carrying me back here.”
“You fell
asleep nearly instantly, I though you passed out.”
“I’m
sorry…”
“And right
after the most satisfying epiphany…” he added coarsely.
I hid my
face against his arm while he embraced me, trying not to give much away. He
thought I loved him… I didn’t, did I? Could I? I felt no compelling urge to
answer it.
“I know
you’re not ready to say it, I’m trying to be understanding and patient. But now
I’m actually hopeful that everything will be just fine. Don’t ruin that just
yet,” He said, rolling over me.
“Who are
you and what have you done with Edward Cullen?”
“No, the
question is what are you doing to Edward More Cullen?” he asked before he bit
my lip a little forcefully. “Don’t worry, I’m still the same old Edward, the
difference is that somehow you entered the very select group of people I’m
actually fond of. The good news is now that you’re in it, it’s unlikely that
you’ll ever get out. The bad news is that I don’t ever intend to let you out.”
That’s a
little unsettling…
“Let’s go.
You have to make yourself presentable, we’re having breakfast with my family.”
“I don’t
remember agreeing to that…”
“I gathered
you wanted to spend the day with your family, but they’ll probably sleep in for
most of the morning if you keep in mind that they made a substantially longer
flight and Rosalie is pregnant… Besides, Madeline will be there, so I think Alice will enjoy our
company.”
“I was hoping
to continue working on my presentation…”
“Later.” He
said kissing me.
*
“You
brought her!” Alice said before sighing
in relief when she saw me entering the bright kitchen.
“I didn’t
know you could cook…” I said bemused as I contoured the kitchen island to hug
her.
Her hands
were sticky with doe and she had a little bit of flower in her forehead.
“Therapy.”
That explained it.
“What are
you making?”
“Brioche.
Edward loves it.”
“Ali,
shouldn’t you have done this yesterday so it could be eaten today?” He asked,
amused.
“Kneading,
great therapy…” she repeated again.
“Are you
okay?” Edward asked puzzled.
“Now that
you’re both here, yes.”
“Mandy is
driving you crazy, is she?”
“You can
say that… That Molly is really something… capable of driving a saint to commit
murder…”Alice completed kneading the doe vigorously.
“What are
you two talking about? By the way, I’m not eating that..”
“Edward, no
one said you could.” Alice answered bitterly.
“You were
happy thirty seconds ago, Ali, what’s going on? Who’s Molly?”
“I think I
should go wash up…” She said huffing, leaving her project unfinished.
I stared at
Edward for a while, dumbfounded.
“I’ll go to
her…”
“Thanks..”
Edward said while squeezing my hand.
I followed
hastily after her, climbing up the stairs two at a time nearly crashing against
Jasper in the process.
“Excuse me,
I wasn’t paying attention where I was going.”
He held me
by the arm, though, restraining me.
“What are
you doing? Let me go!” I hissed.
“Sorry, I
didn’t mean to grab you like that. Did I hurt you?”
“No, I’m
fine”
“I was
hoping I could find you alone. I need to talk to you,” he demanded quietly, “in
private”.
“Why?”
“It’s
important.” He pressed.
“ I’m not sure
I’m comfortable with this.”
“Can I meet
you at More Park? Sometime when Edward is not around?”
“You can, I
just don’t see the point.”
“I’ll see
you downstairs.”
He
continued on his way, like nothing happened and I was stuck for a few seconds
before I found out againd how to use my limbs to walk. That family was really
something else.
“What happened,
Ali?” I asked after a timid ‘come in’ was heard behind the bathroom’s door.
“I’ve seen
them together yesterday, by the Jacuzzi.”
I looked at
her puzzled so she enlightened me. “When I arrived last night after dinner at
your place, I’ve seen them, by the pool, in the Jacuzzy, together.”
“What?”
“Jasper was
thoroughly fucking Madeline, in the Jacuzzi, by the pool…”
“Together,
I’ve gathered that now.”
“How dared
he?”
“Alice,
they’re engaged… I know how hard it must be for you, but… I thought you were moving
on…”
“I’m not.
Bella, I’m not. I was petrified and she saw me, I know she did, but she kept
going and going. And he grunted like a pig in the end, when he… when he… when
he finished.”
“Oh God,
Ali, I’m so sorry… but maybe it was for the best. Maybe seeing that was the eye
opener you needed to move on…”
“Maybe
that’s why he doesn’t want me,” she mused, “because I could never do that to a
man… I mean, I can’t even kiss Seth properly! And he’s so sweet… But I don’t
love him the way I love…” And she stopped abruptly and sobbed bitterly.
“Alice,
that’s not why and you know that. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just
that there are some… cultural impediments: to the world a relationship between
you two would be seen as incestuous somehow… I fear that might tore you and
your family apart…”
“You look
like Edward talking. Don’t you think he gave this lecture before? Can you not
judge me for a second?” She screeched.
“I’m not
judging, I’m merely stating the obvious. We’ve talked about this, it’s not good
for you. For all we know he really sees you like a little sister.” Even
though I’m not so sure of that anymore. “Why didn’t you just walk away?
He’s a creep! You deserve better! Better that this whole mess, better than him
actually. Honestly, even if he wasn’t your stepdad’s son, I would still advise
you to stay away from him.”
“The same
way you managed to stay away from Edward?!” She was reminiscing the Tanya
incident in Australia. I closed my eyes, trying to suppress that memory and
shuddered. She was hurt and latching at the chance. What was it with this
brothers? They needed to be psychoanalyzed, seriously, they demeaned women.
Edward
never did that to you. Did he?
“Don’t do
this Alice.”
“I’m sorry.
You know I envy you? My brother was the ultimate bad boy, the prime flower of
aristocracy, he was arrogant, conceited, disdainful, uncaring, ruthless, and I
could go on and on. His only redeeming quality was his sense of family unit and
his love for me. He made Jasper look like a little lamb when compared to him,
and in some aspects I’m pretty sure he still does, but when he’s with you, he’s
different somehow. There’s more to him. He should hate you, but instead he
loves you. If he’s able to feel that kind of unselfish love, then why isn’t
Jasper? Am I that unworthy?!” She stopped, breathing heavily, before whispering
,“the worst part, the selfish part in me would give up anything and forget
about everything and everyone for a chance to be with him.”
That felt
like a blow in my stomach.
“I didn’t
know you still felt that strongly. What about Seth? I thought you were doing
fine…”
“I like
Seth, but I can’t force myself to love him. I thought I could, but after
tonight, I know I can’t.”
“Is he
aware of that?” I questioned. I was pretty sure he was falling in love with her
for those past months.
“No, and I hate
myself even more for that,” she sobbed.
She cried
convulsively for over half an hour, completely helpless, as I tried to sooth
her, embracing her awkwardly, kneeling
in the cold bathroom floor. She looked so frail, so damaged, so young.
She
eventually quieted down, mumbling incoherent words and disconnected thoughts, and
later stopped talking altogether. Her breathing was fast and shallow and her
eyes were closed. It was clear to me that she was making her mind about
something.
“I’m going
to tell him.” She said hoarsely. “I need to tell him. He needs to know before
he marries her. And I need him to tell me that he never noticed me as a woman,
that I’m truly like a sister to him and that my feelings disgust him. That’s
the only way this spell can be broken. That’ll make me stay away for good.”
“Are you
sure you want to do that?” I didn’t know how to reason with that. I feared that
conversation and the repercussions that could come out of it. Without
realizing, I began hyperventilating, thinking I couldn’t betray my friend, but
knowing that remaining a bystander could represent a catastrophe of epic
proportions. And then I remembered that Jasper wanted to talk to me. It had to
be about Alice, what else could he possibly want to talk?
Why me?
“Let’s go.
I’m alright now that I’ve made up my mind,” Alice said after composing herself
and applying some make up. She looked again to the mirror and frowned a little
“that’ll have to do.” Her eyes were puffy from crying, but there was a spark in
them that made all the difference in the world. Determination.
***
“Bella, how’s your Residency coming along?” Carlisle
asked breaking a very uncomfortable silence.
“Everything
is going just fine.” I replied politely. “I’m a little tired, but I expected as
much,” I smiled.
“More so in
your case,” Edward accused. “Dad, Bella and I have been talking lately, and I
was hoping she could transfer here. Do you think it could be troublesome?”
“Really?”
He asked clearly surprised. Esme, who was sitting in front of me, frowned
worried. That didn’t go by unnoticed by Edward.
“I don’t
think it represents much of a problem, I could talk to some friends who are
more knowledgeable of the legislation, but I've had American residents before,
so it mustn’t be too hard.”
“I’m sure
Bella doesn’t want you to meddle in her life like that, Carlisle. Edward.” Esme
stated.
“It’s fine.” I was still trying to
wrap my head around Edward’s new tactics when my musings were interrupted.
“I thought
you didn’t like the weather…” Madeline said quietly, remembering my previous
words.
“She
doesn’t,” Edward cut in, “but I must insist upon having her here.”
“Never
thought I’d see the day… you’re really infatuated!” Madeline chuckled
humorlessly. “Isabella, you must share how you did it. So many tried before
you, and no one succeeded, not even Tanya.”
“Madeline,
I don’t think that’s appropriate.” Carlisle intervened, with a soft but
commanding tone.
“But it is
a delight to see. Even I have to admit that Dr. Swan has billions of qualities
that make her quite attractive, especially to Edward.” Madeline completed
victoriously.
“I’ve had
enough, Madeline.” Edward said with a lethal tone. “If not for the fact that
you’re my brother’s fiancée I wouldn’t dream of sharing a meal with you. I’m
terribly crossed by your words and I won’t tolerate them. I’m not a teenager
infatuated by a pretty, rich girl. I’m someone who has lived and seen a lot,
and before you say anything, yes, I experienced all of the worldly pleasures
that were offered to me, and you know that from your own experience. I’m not
virtuous, but never claimed to be. I’m a man. Do you see this woman by my
side?” he asked looking around, pointing at me, “I’m not letting her go, so I demand
you to be respectful. Let me warn you, for the last time, I will not tolerate another
session of this nonsense. Bella must be making me lose my edge because I highly
doubt you’d dream to cross the line like that a few months ago, but don’t fool
yourself.”
He said the
last words in a staccato, assuring that they didn’t go unnoticed by anyone, and
an uncomfortable silence followed. Esme was pale, Madeline even paler, looking
at Jasper for some sort of defense, but he was flabbergasted, glued to his
seat, and apparently couldn’t utter a single word. Carlisle’s expression was
unsearchable. I didn’t know where he stood when it came to his son’s marriage,
he was a very intelligent man so I expected some oppose, but he was as ever
calm, and steadily continued his meal.
“I think that covers pretty much our feelings
about this, this sort of behavior is unacceptable in our society,” Alice
concurred with a touch of superiority unseen in her, and no one spoke after
that.
As soon as
I thought it was safe, I removed my napkin carefully from my lap, as the last
thing that I wanted was to commit some etiquette faux pas, excused
myself from the table and got up. All the men followed me in an act of chivalry
that I wasn’t completely used to. I mean, you could be as snide as you wanted
as long as you remembered your manners.
“I’m sorry dear, what must you think of us?”
Esme said getting up, accompanying Jasper, Carlisle and Edward. “Please stay
for lunch.”
“Thank you, but I’m already
otherwise engaged.”
“Her family is visiting,” Alice
completed. “Bella actually invited me for lunch and I accepted. Oh dear, I just
realized I forgot to tell you.”
“We´re both having lunch at More Park.” Edward
said.
Esme seemed annoyed but remained silent. I didn’t invite
them but that didn’t seem to cross their minds. A part of me was hoping to
spend some quality time alone with my family, but if things were to work out
between us, I’d just have to give him a chance, and I couldn’t blame him for
not wanting to stay at home.
**
The rest of the morning was pretty
uneventful. We went to the mass, had a nice, informal lunch, much to Alice’s
joy, who still found everything normal families did a novelty. Edward was a
little uncomfortable in the beginning, especially because Emmett never lost the
opportunity of emphasizing how aloof Edward was from his own reality. But I
have to admit he did alright, even though I was certain that he could never do
‘normal’ on a daily basis.
Since it was an unusually warm
afternoon, we enjoyed a nice walk in the Park. Edward knew the property better
than me, so he was the perfect guide. Rosalie was clearly overwhelmed, and kept
asking “have you seen this?”.
“Have you imagined our little nephew
or niece running around wild in these gardens?” I asked my brother and he
boomed at me with his lovely smile, really proud of himself.
“In a scale of one to ten, how tacky
is it if I take you to the maze?” Edward inquired as we were going back to the
house.
“I’d say about a nine.” I laughed.
“And the sun is setting soon.”
“Where’s your sense of adventure?”
He provoked.
“I had breakfast with your family.
That’s enough of adventure for a month.”
“I’m really sorry about that, I
never got to apologize,” he said holding my hand. “Even my mom wasn’t her usual
self today.”
“Yes, I noticed that. It seemed that
she resented me somehow… I don’t think I did something to offend her, did I?”
“Not really…” his answer was vague.
“This is really tacky, Edward.” I
said as we entered the narrow bushy corridor, but he ignored me and kept a
steady pace through the maze. I placed my hand on the wall, feeling the leafy
texture beneath my hands, which was deceitfully soft, like the man guiding me. I
heard in some documentary that these mazes were basically formed from one
continuous wall, so if the entrance is connected to the wall around the goal,
then I should be fine if I kept my hand
in touch with the wall along the way.
“You’re falling behind Bella,”
Edward said amused, “I won’t let you get lost. Trust me.” He walked back and
hugged me tight, spinning me in the air and placing a sloppy kiss in my mouth.
I realized once my feet touched the
ground that my hand left the wall and panicked a little. I’m somewhat
claustrophobic.
“That won’t work here,” he said
pushing me by the hand. “This isn't a simple-connected maze, it’s
multiply-connected.” I looked at him puzzled but later he explained.
“Henry More was a very… intriguing
man. For some reason, he was an enthusiast of mazes, not labyrinths, he’d say.”
“And why is that?” I asked bemused,
and extremely surprised that he was sharing any sort of information about Henry
that wasn't pejorative somehow.
“Well, traditionally a labyrinth has
only one right path from the entrance to the goal, usually the right one is the
most complex and tortuous, where as a maze must have different choices along
the way towards the same goal. Labyrinths are particularly used with religious
purposes, symbolizing a sort of pilgrimage pathway. The most famous example is
the Notre Dame des Chartres, a Gothic cathedral in France. But its use can be
tracked to Neolithic art, thousands of years ago, and you have many examples of
it from England to India throughout the centuries. But I’m rambling… So, initially
this was a simple-connected one; it was designed in the late 19th
century, but twenty years ago the late Duke of Vidal, Henry More, had the old
one removed and had this one planted instead.”
“And you don’t agree with that?”
“Not at all, he did a superb work in
these grounds. As I saying, these walls are exactly two and a half meters everywhere,
and it’s a lot more intricate than its predecessor. Henry only kept the central
glade and the original fountain. I grew up running around here, so I’m pretty
confident I know every path in this maze. Some of them have delightful
checkpoints along the way, others are narrow and have obstacles, but usually
are shorter and quicker to the point, with one exception, of course.”
“Of course,” I agreed. “Which one are you showing me?”
“You’ll see.”
It was getting dark, almost
twilight, when we took a right turn. And then I saw them. Several humanoid
figures placed in different positions along the way, but all faced away from
where we were looking from. As we walked
along the corridor I noticed the delicacy of the contours of the bronze
sculptures.
“These were acquired in the late
nineties and were probably the last artwork that Henry bought.”
“They’re beautiful, poignant even, despite
the fact that they appear emotionless. As a whole these figures seem to
constitute something grand,” I said as I moved along, “but as you come closer
to any of them they seem to jsut blend into the background, like a shapeless void
of some sort. They’re really unsettling. What’s the artist name?”
“Magdalena Abakanowicz. She’s
a Polish artist who lived through the second World War. I believe she’s still
alive. They were created in the early nineties, I think. Her most famous piece
of work is in Chicago, actually. It’s called agora.”
“I’ve seen it, it’s in Grant Park! I
can perceive now the resemblance. I find these even more disconcerting than the
agora construction. I’m surprised to find modern art here at the Park.”
“These were listed among the properties
belonging to More Park. You should have known that… They were actually a good investment.”
He mumbled distractedly.
I looked at him upset because once
more, at least indirectly, he was accusing me of being careless with my
inheritance, and what hurt the most was that he was right. I quickened my pace,
wanting to leave the expensive artwork behind me and everything it represented.
“Left or right?” I asked at the end
of the corridor, my tone edgy. Edward was languidly following behind.
“Surprise me, it’s your choice now.”
I hesitated and exhaled loudly.
“I’m sorry,” he exhaled as well and
grabbed my hand gently. “Please turn back around for a moment and look at it
from this perspective.” I did as he asked and noticed that the construction had
a whole new dimension from that angle.
“Even though they look void as an
individual, the whole is something to behold. And it’s so different depending
on the perspective you’re looking from. Now
they’re looking at you, and they seem like a fierce unit ready to crush you.
They’re empowered and standout as a group, but give the impression of being
plane, harmless and even useless individually. The artist grew in a communist
regime so many say that her late artwork express and criticize to some extent
that, since the whole, the group was far more important than the individual. In
that regard, I prefer her early works. Never bought any of it though… But
looking from here, that’s not how I interpret it. For Henry this represented
his fears and anxiety towards the end of his life. Not even his billions made
him more than a grain of sand in the desert. And then there was you.”
I couldn’t grasp the tone he used
when he said those last words, I was afraid I’d misinterpret him but just
couldn’t ask. Still, I was marveled not by the artwork, but by the man next to
me. The green in his eyes was barely noticeable, all I could see was the light
brown around his irises, and then I realized I could look at him from different
perspectives as well.
“What I really love about this
particular place” he continued eventually, not lowering his teller eyes from
mine, “is the ambiguity of it. Isn’t that what life really is? A series of
ambiguous events, where facts mix with plans and intentions and feelings and
become this… amalgam?”
“We’re going left.”
He smiled and followed.
“So I gather you are a maze, not
labyrinth kind of person?”
“Well, a few months ago I’d say you’re
correct. But right now, I’m not so sure anymore. How about you?”
“Undoubtedly maze.”
“Multiply-connected?”
I smiled but didn't answer. I felt
like my life was an early maze, it might have felt obscure and in fact multifaceted,
nevertheless everything was made from one continuous wall, no matter how many junctions
might have been added. I just needed to keep my hand firmly in it and never relent,
no matter how hard it was to stay on the right track.
